This is my friend Justin. He served in the Army and was an Afghanistan Veteran. He was a good guy with a big heart. Sadly, his burden was just as big. On Sunday, the burden won.
I would like to remember the last week as a turning point in my life!!! Its been crazy and goes back a couple months, but the only thing I can do is smile. I surprised my power mom with lunch yesterday and unconsciously bought her a live peace lily. She pointed that out, we laughed. We have been through one of the toughest times in our relationship, and I know where my loyalty sits. So yeah travelled a few hundred miles to surprise her.
Been giving up drinking for a couple months, and finally come to the realization that this is not the route in life I would like to head, it only brings pain to the people I love, not to mention the danger I put myself and others in. I am not an alcoholic, and NO, I do know what alcoholism is, I monitor myself and stop atleast once a year for a month ( excuses ). But those little slip ups every now and again when you get brave to say what your heart is crying. Never take advantage of anyone’s kindness, so I dont regret big decisions, just wish I had the balls to say it sober.
I think my mind is going through turmoil, a recent death of a close friend, and firing of family, partners and a new significant other in the last week!!!. I dont really regret my decisions and the writing was on the wall.
Posting this here is my therapy. To everyone else battling, you not alone. Keep walking tall, make changes, never shout, show kindness, everyone is going through a pandemic.
i have now been out of my house for a few months. i still cry. i am angry that i was disposable. i am really angry that i am the one that has to start over and do things i never thought i could do. i am scared most of the time about the future. i am really pissed that i didnt see this crap and put a stop to it waaaay before i did. today is crybaby day. tomorrow will be warrior day. lord what a see saw. next month i will have enough for my lawyers retainer and i am filing. i am not going away without burning this shit down.
Hey @chrisj i was a hardcore functioning alcoholic for 15ys! I could out drink anyone and always tried to get people to drink more when they drinking with me. I do not like beer and i do not like wine. I was a straight shot kinda guy with a soda chaser. No mixed drinks though because i like to drink to get shit faced with a quickness! I had 2 rules.
No drinking until 10pm.
No drinking after midnight.
Because i had to get up at 6 a.m. for work 60 hrs a week. So many many many times i was still buzzing at work. And talk about safety lol i was an idiot because i was technically Dui/dwi everyday for 15yrs. But it was my normal routine and my tolerance was higher and i could out drink you all lol…I would start out with 10x double shots of vodak, whiskey, tequila whatever. Then we would hit the club and get a long island ice-t. Yep i was more than a lush a true alcoholic. My best friend and i would drink a 1/5th in like and hour and if we werent clubbing we would go from the 5th of liquor to the half gallon jug. Usually around 15 double shots id be to fucked up. If drink beer ill be pissing non stop and i hate beer anyways. But in 2012
I stopped drinking.
I have quit
. Cigarettes
. Alcohol
. Chewing tobacco
. Psychedelics
I dont like pills and i have smoked weed everyday since i was 16. Now i only smoke weed and its my medacine, my relaxation and my partying addiction.
That is the spirit, you have a day to break it down, and then the rest of your life to build again.
next month i will have enough for my lawyers retainer and i am filing. i am not going away without burning this shit down.
Not to sure what your situation is, but be careful with the dark deep waters of sharks ( lawyers ), they can sink you lower and make your pockets deeper.
Had someone move in with me yesterday funny enough. He has been fighting courts for several months now and was evicted from his home that he shared with his long term relationship of 30 years. He arrived yesterday with a truckload of his belongings, including 30 rabbits, his food. He is not fighting anymore, he is rebuilding his life at the ripe age of late 50’s. You never to old to start again, but look for the peace and progress.
@PreyBird1 , amazing that could control yourself like that and only drink between certain hours. And huge respect to give all the bad vices up. That is a serious amount of liquor to drink in a couple of hours. I have never been that bad, just a couple nights a month that just get better. My one saving grace is I mostly avoided tequila and shots. But my consumption was quick and fast. My head always said what is the point of drinking without getting pissed. Feeling much better, more focus and less drama. I know I dont have to say it to YOU, but keep it up partner.
